Hannah’s Birth Story—Her Father’s Perspective

As I write this story, it is 6 AM on a beautiful late spring day. It is almost the same time as it was when my wife Susan woke me the second time that early September morning that Hannah Katherine was born. The first time had been around 4:15 AM—literally only hours after the predicted due date. “Wow!” I thought, “This baby has a better on time record than I do, and he or she is not even born yet!”

As I write this story, tears well up in my alert but weary eyes for a couple reasons. The first is of course that I have just sat down to recall the second most joyous event of my entire life behind our wedding day. The second reason is that I am fulfilling a promise I made to both myself and my wife Susan almost nine months ago. One may ask why I am just now getting around to writing this. I could give you any number of excuses including at the time that our daughter Hannah was born, I was both a full time employee, a full time graduate student and trying to manage a number of other things. But I don’t want to live behind my excuses. The fact is that I just didn’t make time for it---period. I admit it. Perhaps you fathers out there can relate? We sometimes make promises to ourselves and our loved ones, and if we’re not careful, we will make ourselves out to be liars unless we keep those promises. It is a common problem among humanity…but I digress.

My name is Ryan DiParisi. This is a very belated birth story from a father’s perspective. While it is late, it is also inspired. You see, when my wife Susan’s water broke that morning, I didn’t have any of these insights. I was in “survival” mode. Can you relate? I felt the most overwhelmed I ever have in my whole life during that time period. However, God was in control, and He still is. Susan’s water had broken earlier that morning, and she told me that the contractions weren’t too bad yet, so we should go back to sleep for a short time until they started. Getting back to the beginning of my story, I got up for the second time, and Susan tells me it is time to go. We had been preparing for a long time for this moment, so we knew what to do. She called Lisa, our midwife for the second time, the first being a couple hours before. This time Lisa told us she would meet us at the hospital. After packing some last minute things in our bags, we hurried off the hospital.

Hackettstown Medical Center is almost an hour away from our place in Hillsborough. I had been keeping this in mind for a while, but when the time came, I didn’t even think about the time. I was just focused on Susan and making sure she was as comfortable as humanly possible in her labor. It was one of the most memorable car rides of my entire life. Susan’s contractions were getting bigger the entire time. I was praying that she wouldn’t have the baby in the car, as that made me nervous. While I was forced to run a couple red lights, I did so very carefully beeping the whole time.

We arrived at the hospital a little around 8:45 AM, and she was in the birthing tub before 9 AM. As her husband and coach, I was prepared to be by her side the entire time, and that is certainly what I did. Susan was already dilated to 5 CM when we arrived, so Lisa told her that she thought that she would progress fairly quickly and that the baby would probably be born within a few hours.

Three hours came and went and still the baby had not been born. During the first three hours, Susan practiced the techniques she had gained while reading innumerable books on childbirth and classes and that I became familiar with through attending classes and by talking to her. I kept praying that everything would go well. God was in control, and we both believed it. I helped her by feeding her ice chips, wiping her forehead with a cool cloth, and by speaking words of encouragement and love to her. At times she told me to be quiet. She was a great communicator during childbirth—she definitely directed me, Lisa, and her mother how we could help her. At the end of the third hour of laboring in the tub, Susan grew incredibly exhausted. She hadn’t had a ton of sleep the night before nor had she eaten a lot the night before, so her body just grew tired from all the work of labor. Lisa asked at that point if Susan wanted to take a nap and that she would give her medication to help her sleep. After agreeing, Susan got out of the tub with assistance from us and lay down on the hospital bed. Susan’s nurse started her IV. What she said during the next minute is something I will never forget this as long as I live. My wife Susan definitely has a high tolerance for pain and an incredible sense of humor. When the nurse told her that putting in the IV might hurt a bit, Susan replied, “That ain’t nothin’” I chuckled. It was absolutely hilarious. It was the quick-witted side of Susan that didn’t come out every day, but when it did, it was funny.

After taking some medication, soon Susan was asleep. I didn’t know that this was even an option, but I trusted Lisa and her knowledge of the process.

During the next three hours, Susan slept, the whole time having contractions that were indicated by her low guttural moaning. I had never seen my wife like this before, and I was a little nervous. Susan’s favorite soft music played in the background to help her to relax. I was probably pacing around before someone told me to sit down, relax, and save my energy for when Susan woke up. I obliged. I just wanted the baby to be born for her sake and the baby’s sake. However, we would all have to wait a number of hours for that to happen.

At around 3:15 PM or so, Lisa told Susan that she would have to wake up and start pushing. Susan was having a difficult time awakening out of her deep sleep. The medications she had taken had seemed to overpower her petite body. This concerned me, but Lisa assured me that Susan was fine. Susan began to push after a short time went by. By this time, it was 3:30 PM. I was by her side at this time holding her hand, giving her ice chips upon request, and just trying to be as supportive as possible. Lisa was the one giving her the commands to push and stop pushing. As 3:30 PM turned into 4 PM, and 4 PM was quickly transformed into 5 PM, Susan was finally waking up fully. I suggested to her that she drink some tea, which she finally agreed to do. That seemed to help because in the next hour or so, she not only woke up, but was extremely alert and in full action mode.

A decision had been made earlier by Lisa that she would not return to the birthing tub for safety reasons. Therefore, Susan had to try various positions in bed. While in bed, the fetal heart monitor was hooked up to Susan so both Susan and the baby’s heart rate could be monitored. I was truly amazed at how fast the baby’s heart rate was just resting, but when I saw how fast it became during contractions and then during Susan’s pushing, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was reaching levels I didn’t even know were possible to obtain. Throughout this time, Lisa was measuring Susan’s dilation and the baby’s head to see how far he or she had dropped in the birth canal. She had some sobering news—while Susan was at 10 CM, the baby’s head was not dropping. Earlier, Lisa had decided to give Susan a small dose of Potosin to see if contractions and labor could be sped up. It didn’t really seem to help Susan. The time was now around 6:30 PM. Susan had now been in labor since 4:30 AM, and she was getting more tired. But she was fiercely determined to continue pushing to keep giving herself a chance to have a natural childbirth. Susan and I had gone into the childbirth praying that she would have a water birth, but as the situation wore on, I was just praying for a safe delivery. Lisa began to announce a couple times that the baby’s heart was under great distress because he or she was not dropping and fitting through the birth canal. We could see the baby’s crown way up in the birth canal, but the baby just did not want to drop. Therefore, Lisa told us C-section would be explored and she would talk it over with the nurses. I knew how committed Susan was to having our baby naturally, and for that I was proud of her. However, as the hour closed out, Lisa was consulting with the other nurses in the room, and the option of caesarian section began to be discussed. I remember Susan hearing this, and trying all the more to avoid this if possible. About five minutes later, the decision had been made—Susan was to give birth by C-section. Although slightly dismayed, we encouraged Susan that she had given literally ALL that she had to try to give birth naturally, and this time, it just wasn’t meant to be. Before going in, Susan knew this was true and that the most important issues were the baby’s health and her health. Preparations for a C-section were made.

By around 7:30 PM or 7:45, a full fifteen hours after her water had broken, Susan was wheeled into the operating room and prepared to give birth by C-section. I was told to wait outside until the appropriate time, at which the nurse would call me in. This time seemed to come shortly, and when I entered the operating room fully scrubbed, I announced that I wanted to declare the baby’s sex. The doctors agreed. At the appropriate time, the anesthesiologist told me I could stand up and watch Susan give birth. I watched the team push our baby out of Susan’s womb, and before I knew it, I was staring at a beautiful, very large, crying baby! “It’s a girl!!” I proudly shouted while tears streamed down my face. She was absolutely beautiful! The first thing out of the doctors’ mouths was, “WOW! No wonder you couldn’t give birth naturally—she’s huge!” I really had no concept of how big she was until later. After the umbilical cord was cut, the medical team brought her over to clean her and swaddle her. We named her Hannah Katherine DiParisi, and after I held her ever so briefly, I brought her over to Susan so she could see her beautiful baby daughter. Although her body was still in shock, she was all smiles and tears.

After the doctors stitched up Susan, they brought her into the recovery room. I went with the nurses to get her vitals. We found out shortly that she weighed in at a very healthy nine pounds, twelve ounces, and twenty-one inches. I couldn’t believe it! The nurses were amazed too! After the nurses and doctor did what they had to do, we all reconvened in the recovery room with Hannah in her “Baby Cadillac Bassinet.

As I reflect back on the last eight months, Hannah, Susan and I have come so far. I am very happy that my memory still serves me correctly, but then again, this was one of the most joyous events of my life. During the last eight months, I realize that the birth, while memorable, was only the very beginning of a sea of fond memories, ones that we are still making in this awesome journey called parenthood.

Thank you for listening to my rather lengthy story, but if you’re like many people, you can’t resist reading about good news—you’re drawn to it. God bless you!